Wednesday, January 04, 2012

2011 Reflections

I've been reading some blogs and I realized I didn't write any reflections on 2011. Probably because I hate looking back in the past, especially during the first, oh...23 years of my life. I've embarrassed myself so many times when I was growing up. My adolescent and teenage years are filled with memories I'd rather forget. And college wasn't any better. I've come to the conclusion that I had major doses of social awkwardness. I don't know how my friends stayed my friends. Post college was a little better mainly because I don't have much of a social life, which means less chance of humiliation. It's not growing up, people. It's statistics.

Napa 2011
I thought 2011 was the year I would grow up. It was the year I really get off my bee-hind. and really become *Shiver* But it didn't happen. And I don't know why. What happened last year? I remember going on a cruise to Alaska. I took a mini vacation to Napa with some girlfriends. We didn't have VBS in the summer for the first time. We held it in Jan-Feb for a Winter VBS. We had our first Game Night on Oct. 31. I put together the Christmas Program, which was a bust.

Oh the Christmas Program. It was such a headache. I did everything in my power to make it simple for everyone involved. Christmas fell on a Sunday last year, and I was asked by our senior pastor to put together a program. I wanted it special, but I knew that people would be very busy. So I created a program broken into different presentations by different groups of people. Those groups will practice on their own, and we'll have two rehearsals where we practice all together. It was simple because each group only has to concern themselves with what they're doing. We're basically a line-up of presentation, but put together, there's a story and a cohesiveness.

But people started dropping out either last minute or without telling me. One group's choreographer approached me herself, but dropped out. Another group sought me out to confirm their performance, but dropped out without telling anyone until we finally reached the choreographer. The other group dropped out without telling me at all until I asked them myself. The finale dancers dropped out last minute. But they received a call from their cell group leader, who told them they must dance because they committed to do it, and procrastinating the way they did was their fault. One singer, the first performance, just didn't show up without telling me. The person making a backdrop told me late Christmas Eve that he needs me to provide the fabric for the backdrop, but he thankfully pulled through the next day. Then during the program itself, the audio technician did not follow my specific and written-out instructions causing 5 minute silent delays in the program.

Christmas dance practice youth & young adults
What rankles me the most is that these people committed to the performance a month before, on the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I know because I spoke with all of them during the church's Thanksgiving potluck dinner. Then to drop out without telling me or to drop out the last minute, or not show up at all is just wrong. What's even more wrong is that all those people are adults. They're all older than me. I'm 26. I was organizing the youth and young adult dancers and actors, and they were more responsible than the adults. Wanting to practice day after day even through finals week at school and before and after work shifts.

It wasn't a good Christmas Program experience, but it was a nice Christmas. When I agreed to put together the Christmas Program, I promised myself that I would not let it stress me out and I would never let it ruin my Christmas. Hah. Isn't it nice that the memory in the forefront of my brain is a disastrous Christmas Program?

Wait. Did I even achieve anything from reflecting on the past year? Maybe this year, 2012, is the year I grow up. I don't even want to grow up. I'm not mature enough for that. But reflecting on the past year just shows me that I need to work harder at blogging. Because then I could just look at my past posts when I write my 2012 Reflections.

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