Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dramatic Dreams?

On Thursday I woke up crying, did my carpool the kids duty, went back to sleep, and woke up scared. My sister asked me why my dreams are so dramatic. I don't know, but here's what happened. Enter my dream world...whooo...haha. Sorry. Okay, here goes.

Dream 1.
This dream was tinted with that awful yellow lighting from old lightbulbs.
Father: no name. Tall, thin almost wiry. Black medium cut hair. White shirt. Faded jeans.
Son: no name. Same hair as father. Brown eyes.

I walk inside the mall during closing time. It is Saturday night. I'm meeting the can't-hold-down-a-job-slacker father of my 2 year old son. I don't know if we were ever married. I have legal custody of our son, but the father spends every Saturday with him. I meet with father and son in this open area in the mall with couches for tired shoppers. My son comes bounding up to me. His birthday is tomorrow. I feel a little pang from his grinning face. He's so happy spending time with his dad, when his dad has brought me nothing but pain. Then my son says, "Mommy, can I spend tomorrow with Daddy?"

My heart breaks. I fight to compose myself as I look at the father. He's grinning as well. He has his victory of spending more time with his son. Then, in the way that you just knew in dreams, I lose legal custody of my son. We are still in the mall but since I lost custody, I start walking away. Rather my legs start walking away, against my will. While crying, I take one last look back. My son is overjoyed to spend one more day with his dad, but he didn't know he'll never see me again. The father has a look of fear, because he can't support his son, can't provide for him. He gives a look that begged me to take back our son, but I literally can't.

Then I woke up. Tears streamed down my face and my heart constricted, like someone stabbed me with a knife.

Dream 2.
The dream opens by showing me this bluish-green rattlesnake. Deadly. Poisonous.

Then I was in my car. I had just parked where I usually parked in the church parking lot. The service was about to start. I got out of my car and notice that there were some kids milling around a red van with the back door open. I walked over to them to tell them to go inside. When I got there, I glanced down at the ground and saw the snake. The kids saw it too and backed away. The snake slithered under the car next to the van.

I ran inside to alert someone. The service started. I walked over to Bro. Peter, who sat next to Bro. Amante. As quietly and as calm as possible, I told them about the snake. They followed me outside. In a way that only happens in dreams, Bro. Amante became Pastor Edgar. I pointed to where the snake was. Pastor Edgar and Bro. Peter scanned the area with their eyes (they didn't move from where they stood). We didn't see the snake. They told me and the kids to go inside the church and join the service. I got a distinct feeling they didn't believe my snake story.

We made our way inside the church and to a pew. Then a woman screamed. The snake had made its way inside the sanctuary. The worship team stopped singing. The congregants looked around the floor to find and avoid the snake. Bro. Peter and some of the men/ushers were running around trying to find the snake. The kids and I looked down at the floor, and were calm when the snake slithered by our feet. I had that dream feeling that it didn't want to harm us. I alerted the men that the snake just passed us.

Then one of the kids, Joshua, lunged forward to tackle the snake. With supernatural speed, it zipped away from him. "There it goes!" screamed Joshua.

The snake zipped, almost flying, to the baptismal tub situated at the front wall of the sanctuary. Some of the men ran to the back entrance to get to the tub. Some tried to get to the snake by climbing the choir pews. But the snake was too fast. It was zipping around like a ball in a pinball machine. Then a woman from another church came close to grabbing the snake, but it bit her. She cowered in a corner by the baptismal tub, paralyzed from the venom.

Then the snake zipped towards me. I instictively raise my right fist for protection and...

I woke up. Scared. Heart pounding against my chest.

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