Saturday, July 02, 2005

I am loving George Michael's "Amazing".

DVBS all throughout the week. It's cool, but I can't wait for the Kids Encounter. It's just that, I don't know. Doubt seeps in. Fear, uncertaintity, procrastination... I know they're not from God and I cannot give in, but they're there. I'm human. I need to push, I know that, and I need to P.U.S.H. as well. It'll be so much easier if I have my own room. That's just an excuse, but a valid one in terms of I have no quiet place to meet God. The only place I'm not interrupted is in the library. That's no good when I want to communicate with God. I can write to Him, but it's not enough. I'm always interrupted at home.

So anyway, the Kids Encounter'll be exciting. I just want more guidance, and guidance from a person. I feel as confused as when we started the G12 vision. Well, I lift it up to God.

Sometimes, I feel as if that sentence is another excuse. It is like when you say "I lift it up to God", of course there are the most cases of you actually lift it up to God. You put the matter into His hands, and, of course, that's what I mean. Everything must go according to His plan. If things are going down without the Holy Spirit, I want no part in it. However, sometimes it irks me that saying, "I lift it up to God" is a way out because people do not want to take responsibility. For example, maybe one of the youth is living in sin, and a youth leader would say, "I lift it up to God" instead of taking the necessary steps to correct and guide that youth. The line must be drawn.

Anyway, I'm sleepy and I have a HUGE day ahead.

No comments: