Monday, September 24, 2012

Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys

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Read these articles:
"Aggressive Girls Clueless Boys"
"Protecting Your Son From Aggressive Girls"

These articles are very eye-opening and saddening at the same time. It's not just the increase in girls who aggressively pursue boys, nor is it the young age when this begins to occur (as young as elementary aged),or that it also happens within Christian communities (churches, schools, groups, etc), but it's also the underlying causes of this cultural shift that dishearten me.

I haven't given much thought about it before stumbling onto the articles, but I realize that I've seen it. I've seen and I see girls trying to "grow up too fast," wearing inappropriate clothing, makeup that make them appear years older, actively pursuing boys, and so on.

General society and media glamorize casual and premarital sex and intimacy. Girls are bombarded by this fun, happy-go-lucky attitude and thinking about sexuality without hearing about the consequences, not just physically but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They are told to be empowered women and take what they want, live life, make their own choices and decisions, etc. I'm all for empowering women, being a woman myself, but if you keep someone ignorant of the consequences, that's not empowerment. That's entrapment.

And young girls are getting trapped in the choices they make because they are ignorant of the consequences or other possible, viable options. Though we're all accountable for our actions, you can't fault children for an ignorance that could have been prevented by adults. It's the responsibility of the adults around them to guide, mentor, and, at the very least, inform. I would even go as far as making it society's responsibility to ensure young people grow up to be wise adults that ultimately contribute back into the very society that shaped them.

Ideas about saving yourself for marriage and staying sexually pure are made fun of or looked down upon or treated like it's not a valid option. But abstinence and sexual purity are valid options, not just for Christians because it's what we believe, but for anyone who - especially in this day and age - want to stay healthy (clean, for him/herself and his/her future spouse) and eliminate all risk of unwanted pregnancy.

However, I think parents need to be vigilant in keeping the lines of communication open with their children. And churches need to take back its role as a major proponent of Biblical influence on a person's values and worldviews.

I've seen churches slack or change their stance on modesty, dating, and social behavior. It's like the bar on modesty, dating/waiting, sexual purity and all that stuff lowered, and nobody wants to touch the issue because you're not supposed to "judge others," just love them. After all, nobody's perfect. That's so very true, but you can't ignore the examples you are setting, all for the name of "love." It's not love anymore if you let your examples lead these young boys and girls into a path that will destroy them (Romans 14:15, Matthew 18:6). Church leaders are called to a higher standard than that.

Speaking of which, actions speak louder than words. What good is it for a  leader to teach about being set apart or being unequally yoked when that same leader has a bf/gf who's not a believer? What good is it for a leader to teach about waiting for God's perfect timing when that leader has romantic interests that jumps from one person to another? C'mon. Once you think about it, is it really any wonder that there's a shift to sexual aggressiveness when the messages these young generation receive are blurry, wishy-washy, and convoluted?

I suppose the question now is, how do we cause another shift? One that points the way to God?
Someone pointed me to The Pink Lid, a girls' conference that I thought was just wonderful because they come to you. I've also stumbled onto other sites and discipleship programs for all ages, really. It's just a matter of taking a stance (for churches, parents, and the young people themselves).

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